Blog Posts

November 2, 2016

Your Teenagers Brain… On Bacon

Hello? Can anyone out there hear me? I’m hiding under the covers with the bedroom door locked. It’s the only place I’m safe from what’s going on downstairs. Listen… “Those are not MY dishes, they’re yours!” screams one teenage daughter. “No, they’re not. I am a vegetarian which means I didn’t […]
May 26, 2016

My Luck Has Turned to Fu*k

My husband used to call me Lucky Laura, saying how things in my life always seemed to come up roses. Send me to cover a story in the Gaza Strip with an obnoxious AP photographer who mouthed off to armed guards who responded by pointing machine guns at our heads and I’d manage to make […]
December 31, 2015

I Have Less Than 24 Hours to Live

All year I’ve harbored a certifiable fear that I would drop dead, the same as my husband did, when he was the same age. Or get a diagnosis. I’m not sure which came first, the much better health insurance plan or the tinge of paranoia that came before each overdue test […]
October 22, 2015

Read My Friend’s Cover Letter! You’ll Die Laughing!

From: Laura F. Date: Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 10:59 AM To: Kathy Subject: Get a life! Hey woman. What’s happening with the job? Let me know if I can give you a reference.  xol, Laura From: Kathy P. Date: Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 11:27 AM Subject: I love you […]
May 15, 2015

Day One: My Mother’s in Town– For a Week!

I told my step-father that a week was too long for anyone to visit, even my celebrity heartthrob crush Javier Bardem.   “Nothing personal,” I said. “How about she comes for three or four days? That way, we can end on a high note!”   “Too late,” George said. He’d already […]
May 11, 2015

Reality Check: Mother’s Day

Is it possible that I am really the only mother out there who experienced more family stress over Mother’s Day than it was worth?   After it was over, I checked in on Facebook, only to see dozens of posts with happy, smiling families bearing flowers at big family dinners with the mothers wearing […]
April 15, 2015

Welcome to My Blog

Hi. I’m Laura. I’ve been a crime reporter at the New York Daily News; a private investigator (that was a cool job); a features editor at Woman’s World Magazine where I interviewed more than 50,000 women; and a press secretary for an elected official in a city of 198,000.   Life was going along […]
April 14, 2015

My Daughter, the Fire Hazard

My daughter is a lot of things, but never has anyone called her a “fire hazard.”   “You gotta be kidding me!” I exclaimed to the school nurse’s office on the phone today. “A fire hazard? Really?”   I admittedly shouldn’t have rudely followed up with, “Should I send her […]
February 8, 2015

The Vole in the Bowl

I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a scream quite like it.   It was a mix of giggling, shrieking and yelping for help that sounded kinda like this: “Eeeyyaaauuugghhhheewlp!”   There stood my 15-year-old on the orange leather dining chair, far from the kitchen where she kept pointing with trembling index finger. It […]
February 1, 2015

Pillow Talk

Note to Daughters Put Under Their Pillows This Morning: Look out the window and always say good morning to the world. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Be happy for what you have, don’t cry for what you want. Walk the dog. Don’t define yourself by others’ […]
January 25, 2015

Hey Baby, Love Your Brain Chip

A few years into the single life after being widowed, I realized most people just don’t want to be in committed relationships with each other so much anymore. Women say especially men. There’s not a lot of reason to when they can order up a new and different hottie in less […]
January 22, 2015

Drs RX for Winter Doldrums? Flying Squirrel Feces!

It’s official. I am bored with winter as we haven’t even had our first Nor’ Easter. We Upstate New Yorkers don’t feel it’s really winter until the first big one hits. Otherwise, it’s just cold outside with nothing to compare anything to. But hold onto your ski hats. We might get slammed this weekend, according […]
January 19, 2015

   
January 13, 2015

You’re Dead… Now What?

Hate to break the bad news but chances are you are going to die at some point in your life. If you’re a man, you’ll likely make it to 79.8. Women? It’s 82.2, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). Take that however you wish in terms of deciding how […]
November 12, 2014

Please Call Me An Only Parent, Not a Single Mom

As I straddle the role of being both mother and father, disciplinarian and softie, I learn that we are still a family despite ourselves. My friends call me Mr. Laura, although the politically correct term for a widow is what I call being an only parent.   You see, single […]