Blog Posts

September 26, 2014

You Call This a Job?

Sometimes a girl just has to pamper herself. And why not? I had just returned from seven weeks of traveling around the country in a 21 foot RV with three teenager girls and a dog that we rescued off an Indian reservation in Arizona to gather material for my upcoming book. […]
October 2, 2014

My Dog Has a Better Love Life Than I Do

I recognized the expression on the vet’s face when he called me into the office. I’d seen it before, the “I am now going to turn off my emotions look” in order to tell this woman something really, really bad that is going to make her cry hard and a […]
October 3, 2014

I Saw My Husband at His Funeral

The first time I saw my husband after he died was at his funeral. When it was my turn to enter the church, all 900 pairs of eyes on the widow, the Reverend handed me a black box and gave me a look that said, “Ready, set, go.”   Apparently […]
October 4, 2014

Meet the Family

Even without Mark, my late husband and the father of our oh… so… charming… teenage daughters, we are still the Fahrenthold-Pittmans and we are still a family. Nell will still tap her fingers to annoy Susannah, who will still yell, “Momma,” in a fake Southern accent to mock her frustration […]
October 12, 2014

Weird Ways to Honor Your Loved One’s Ashes

The nice thing about Mark-in-a-Box is that he could go anywhere, anytime. In fact, we were part of a growing trend. In 2010, an estimated 38.15% of America’s deceased were cremated, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. Not surprisingly, therefore, the practice of scattering cremains in unusual, non-traditional (and […]
November 12, 2014

Please Call Me An Only Parent, Not a Single Mom

As I straddle the role of being both mother and father, disciplinarian and softie, I learn that we are still a family despite ourselves. My friends call me Mr. Laura, although the politically correct term for a widow is what I call being an only parent.   You see, single […]
January 13, 2015

You’re Dead… Now What?

Hate to break the bad news but chances are you are going to die at some point in your life. If you’re a man, you’ll likely make it to 79.8. Women? It’s 82.2, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). Take that however you wish in terms of deciding how […]
January 19, 2015

   
January 22, 2015

Drs RX for Winter Doldrums? Flying Squirrel Feces!

It’s official. I am bored with winter as we haven’t even had our first Nor’ Easter. We Upstate New Yorkers don’t feel it’s really winter until the first big one hits. Otherwise, it’s just cold outside with nothing to compare anything to. But hold onto your ski hats. We might get slammed this weekend, according […]
January 25, 2015

Hey Baby, Love Your Brain Chip

A few years into the single life after being widowed, I realized most people just don’t want to be in committed relationships with each other so much anymore. Women say especially men. There’s not a lot of reason to when they can order up a new and different hottie in less […]
February 1, 2015

Pillow Talk

Note to Daughters Put Under Their Pillows This Morning: Look out the window and always say good morning to the world. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Be happy for what you have, don’t cry for what you want. Walk the dog. Don’t define yourself by others’ […]
February 8, 2015

The Vole in the Bowl

I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a scream quite like it.   It was a mix of giggling, shrieking and yelping for help that sounded kinda like this: “Eeeyyaaauuugghhhheewlp!”   There stood my 15-year-old on the orange leather dining chair, far from the kitchen where she kept pointing with trembling index finger. It […]
April 14, 2015

My Daughter, the Fire Hazard

My daughter is a lot of things, but never has anyone called her a “fire hazard.”   “You gotta be kidding me!” I exclaimed to the school nurse’s office on the phone today. “A fire hazard? Really?”   I admittedly shouldn’t have rudely followed up with, “Should I send her […]
April 15, 2015

Welcome to My Blog

Hi. I’m Laura. I’ve been a crime reporter at the New York Daily News; a private investigator (that was a cool job); a features editor at Woman’s World Magazine where I interviewed more than 50,000 women; and a press secretary for an elected official in a city of 198,000. Life was going along great […]
May 11, 2015

Reality Check: Mother’s Day

Is it possible that I am really the only mother out there who experienced more family stress over Mother’s Day than it was worth?   After it was over, I checked in on Facebook, only to see dozens of posts with happy, smiling families bearing flowers at big family dinners with the mothers wearing […]