Blog Posts

November 2, 2016

Your Teenagers Brain… On Bacon

Hello? Can anyone out there hear me? I’m hiding under the covers with the bedroom door locked. It’s the only place I’m safe from what’s going on downstairs. Listen… “Those are not MY dishes, they’re yours!” screams one teenage daughter. “No, they’re not. I am a vegetarian which means I didn’t […]
September 2, 2016

Love Explained

By Tim Urba This is long but so funny: “There’s not really any normal way to start a relationship. Some people go on a date, and then another date, and then another, and one day it’s just clear to both of them that they’re in a relationship. Some people start […]
July 19, 2016

Do I Really Have To?

Everyone already knows the answer when they ask themselves or others, “Do I reeaaally have to?” Otherwise they wouldn’t ask. They’d just do whatever it is and be done with it. The question is really just a delay tactic. My daughters do it all the time when it comes to housework. […]
February 15, 2016

Song Stucky In Thy Head Syndrome

I haven’t heard from Carol in 100 years, but when she called me today, the only thing she said was “What are you going to do?” to make me laugh so hard, I spit my coffee out. That’s what friends are for. All the time in the world can pass, but you […]
January 26, 2016

Spitz to Meet the Big Toilet Bowl in the Sky

No, not the Olympic gold medalist, Mark Spitz. My fish, Spitz. But please don’t tell him he’s getting the big flush. Not yet. My worry was confirmed on Sunday morning when my daughter, Nell, noticed it too. “Ew,” she said, peering into his tank. “You mean Ick,” I told her. “Ew. What’s […]
December 7, 2015

Welcome to a New Episode of… My Parents Are in Town for a Week!

OK, you tell me. What do parents normally bring on an airplane when coming to visit their lovely daughter and grandchildren? I’d say nothing but their luggage and some empty peanut wrappers. Not my Mom! She brought us presents–and lots of them. Next question. If your parents were so inclined, what […]
November 16, 2015

When You Teach a Teenager to Fish

I used to be a real Mom, but now that my daughters are almost grown teenagers, life at Pittman Palace is anything but picture perfect. And that’s just the way I like it. Hungry? And don’t like what I made for dinner? Learn how to cook. It’s an invaluable skill […]
October 22, 2015

Read My Friend’s Cover Letter! You’ll Die Laughing!

From: Laura F. Date: Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 10:59 AM To: Kathy Subject: Get a life! Hey woman. What’s happening with the job? Let me know if I can give you a reference.  xol, Laura From: Kathy P. Date: Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 11:27 AM Subject: I love you […]
September 4, 2015

Like OMG, I Just Rolled My Eyes So Hard, I Saw My Own Brain!

My Mom, who is retired, said even if she practiced for 10 hours a day, she doubted she could do it– make her eyes roll back in her brain the way my girls do almost every time I open my mouth to speak to them. What’s more, the eyeball rolling action […]
August 9, 2015

Teenager’s Letter Goes Viral

Parenting, I always say, is the hardest job you’ll ever love. Why else would you sacrifice your life for someone else’s? At first, when they’re little and full of wonder, the reward of getting sticky I love you kisses and watching them grow is totally worth everything on earth. But once they […]
July 21, 2015

Mom For $ale

Mother of two teenage girls for sale. 51,000 miles. Runs like new! Available seven days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. No sick or personal days. Fifty cents an hour. Experience: Repeats herself over and over and over again. Produces plates full of food when there’s “nothing to […]
July 7, 2015

He Was Standing By Her Grave

It sounds morbid, but one of my favorite places to walk the dog is in the graveyard down the street. It’s dead quiet (ha, ha, ha), there are no cars and very few visitors. And no, I never let the dog lift his leg on the headstones or do his business […]
May 15, 2015

Day One: My Mother’s in Town– For a Week!

I told my step-father that a week was too long for anyone to visit, even my celebrity heartthrob crush Javier Bardem.   “Nothing personal,” I said. “How about she comes for three or four days? That way, we can end on a high note!”   “Too late,” George said. He’d already […]
May 11, 2015

Reality Check: Mother’s Day

Is it possible that I am really the only mother out there who experienced more family stress over Mother’s Day than it was worth?   After it was over, I checked in on Facebook, only to see dozens of posts with happy, smiling families bearing flowers at big family dinners with the mothers wearing […]
April 15, 2015

Welcome to My Blog

Hi. I’m Laura. I’ve been a crime reporter at the New York Daily News; a private investigator (that was a cool job); a features editor at Woman’s World Magazine where I interviewed more than 50,000 women; and a press secretary for an elected official in a city of 198,000.   Life was going along […]