Blog Posts

October 25, 2016

Killing Two Peanuts With One Stone

I used to get such bad panic attacks a few years back that my teeth would chatter even through clenched jaws and as my body convulsed like a wet dog pulled from an icy pond. That’s when my husband Mark would literally have to lay his entire 6’4″ body on […]
May 26, 2016

My Luck Has Turned to Fu*k

My husband used to call me Lucky Laura, saying how things in my life always seemed to come up roses. Send me to cover a story in the Gaza Strip with an obnoxious AP photographer who mouthed off to armed guards who responded by pointing machine guns at our heads and I’d manage to make […]
January 26, 2016

Spitz to Meet the Big Toilet Bowl in the Sky

No, not the Olympic gold medalist, Mark Spitz. My fish, Spitz. But please don’t tell him he’s getting the big flush. Not yet. My worry was confirmed on Sunday morning when my daughter, Nell, noticed it too. “Ew,” she said, peering into his tank. “You mean Ick,” I told her. “Ew. What’s […]
January 13, 2016

Kitchen UNconfidential

My teenager decided to dish out her own tell-all version of Kitchen Confidential at our house after a texting session in which she moaned and complained that there was “Nothing to eat, Mom.” Here goes:  “I usually skip dinner altogether, but on the rare occasion that I do want to eat, there’s […]
January 3, 2016

Things to Stop Giving a Sh*t About in 2016

Already my New Year’s resolutions are looking as sugar-coated as the now empty box of truffles sitting on my desk washed down with a gorgeous glass of Malbec. That’s precisely the moment that I decided to give it up and started making a list of un-resolutions. Here goes: 1. Going to […]
December 31, 2015

I Have Less Than 24 Hours to Live

All year I’ve harbored a certifiable fear that I would drop dead, the same as my husband did, when he was the same age. Or get a diagnosis. I’m not sure which came first, the much better health insurance plan or the tinge of paranoia that came before each overdue test […]
November 16, 2015

When You Teach a Teenager to Fish

I used to be a real Mom, but now that my daughters are almost grown teenagers, life at Pittman Palace is anything but picture perfect. And that’s just the way I like it. Hungry? And don’t like what I made for dinner? Learn how to cook. It’s an invaluable skill […]
October 22, 2015

Read My Friend’s Cover Letter! You’ll Die Laughing!

From: Laura F. Date: Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 10:59 AM To: Kathy Subject: Get a life! Hey woman. What’s happening with the job? Let me know if I can give you a reference.  xol, Laura From: Kathy P. Date: Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 11:27 AM Subject: I love you […]
September 4, 2015

Like OMG, I Just Rolled My Eyes So Hard, I Saw My Own Brain!

My Mom, who is retired, said even if she practiced for 10 hours a day, she doubted she could do it– make her eyes roll back in her brain the way my girls do almost every time I open my mouth to speak to them. What’s more, the eyeball rolling action […]
August 2, 2015

Don’t Mind If I Stare At You

One of the hardest things about losing a spouse is that a major part of you dies with them, only you are supposed to carry on with your life as one, as opposed to half of a whole. That’s why grief is such a powerful phenomenon. No one truly understands it […]
July 27, 2015

I Swear, It’ll Never Happen Again

We all do it– make the same mistake, twice, if not over and over again. The thing is, we know we’re doing whatever it is,  but we somehow can’t help ourselves from inserting a happy ending fantasy by giving it one last try. And another. And then even another. Sometimes […]
July 7, 2015

He Was Standing By Her Grave

It sounds morbid, but one of my favorite places to walk the dog is in the graveyard down the street. It’s dead quiet (ha, ha, ha), there are no cars and very few visitors. And no, I never let the dog lift his leg on the headstones or do his business […]
May 15, 2015

Day One: My Mother’s in Town– For a Week!

I told my step-father that a week was too long for anyone to visit, even my celebrity heartthrob crush Javier Bardem.   “Nothing personal,” I said. “How about she comes for three or four days? That way, we can end on a high note!”   “Too late,” George said. He’d already […]
May 11, 2015

Reality Check: Mother’s Day

Is it possible that I am really the only mother out there who experienced more family stress over Mother’s Day than it was worth?   After it was over, I checked in on Facebook, only to see dozens of posts with happy, smiling families bearing flowers at big family dinners with the mothers wearing […]
April 15, 2015

Welcome to My Blog

Hi. I’m Laura. I’ve been a crime reporter at the New York Daily News; a private investigator (that was a cool job); a features editor at Woman’s World Magazine where I interviewed more than 50,000 women; and a press secretary for an elected official in a city of 198,000.   Life was going along […]