Blog Posts

May 26, 2016

My Luck Has Turned to Fu*k

My husband used to call me Lucky Laura, saying how things in my life always seemed to come up roses. Send me to cover a story in the Gaza Strip with an obnoxious AP photographer who mouthed off to armed guards who responded by pointing machine guns at our heads and I’d manage to make […]
January 26, 2016

Spitz to Meet the Big Toilet Bowl in the Sky

No, not the Olympic gold medalist, Mark Spitz. My fish, Spitz. But please don’t tell him he’s getting the big flush. Not yet. My worry was confirmed on Sunday morning when my daughter, Nell, noticed it too. “Ew,” she said, peering into his tank. “You mean Ick,” I told her. “Ew. What’s […]
January 3, 2016

Things to Stop Giving a Sh*t About in 2016

Already my New Year’s resolutions are looking as sugar-coated as the now empty box of truffles sitting on my desk washed down with a gorgeous glass of Malbec. That’s precisely the moment that I decided to give it up and started making a list of un-resolutions. Here goes: 1. Going to […]
December 31, 2015

I Have Less Than 24 Hours to Live

All year I’ve harbored a certifiable fear that I would drop dead, the same as my husband did, when he was the same age. Or get a diagnosis. I’m not sure which came first, the much better health insurance plan or the tinge of paranoia that came before each overdue test […]
December 27, 2015

The Miracle on Our Street

While I certainly qualify for clerical celibacy given that I’m not married and haven’t met anyone I want to become romantically involved with for a while now, no worries! The nuns would still kick me out of the convent for other bad behaviors such as taking the lord’s name in vain […]
December 7, 2015

Welcome to a New Episode of… My Parents Are in Town for a Week!

OK, you tell me. What do parents normally bring on an airplane when coming to visit their lovely daughter and grandchildren? I’d say nothing but their luggage and some empty peanut wrappers. Not my Mom! She brought us presents–and lots of them. Next question. If your parents were so inclined, what […]
November 16, 2015

When You Teach a Teenager to Fish

I used to be a real Mom, but now that my daughters are almost grown teenagers, life at Pittman Palace is anything but picture perfect. And that’s just the way I like it. Hungry? And don’t like what I made for dinner? Learn how to cook. It’s an invaluable skill […]
October 22, 2015

Read My Friend’s Cover Letter! You’ll Die Laughing!

From: Laura F. Date: Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 10:59 AM To: Kathy Subject: Get a life! Hey woman. What’s happening with the job? Let me know if I can give you a reference.  xol, Laura From: Kathy P. Date: Thursday, October 22, 2015 at 11:27 AM Subject: I love you […]
September 4, 2015

Like OMG, I Just Rolled My Eyes So Hard, I Saw My Own Brain!

My Mom, who is retired, said even if she practiced for 10 hours a day, she doubted she could do it– make her eyes roll back in her brain the way my girls do almost every time I open my mouth to speak to them. What’s more, the eyeball rolling action […]
July 7, 2015

He Was Standing By Her Grave

It sounds morbid, but one of my favorite places to walk the dog is in the graveyard down the street. It’s dead quiet (ha, ha, ha), there are no cars and very few visitors. And no, I never let the dog lift his leg on the headstones or do his business […]
May 15, 2015

Day One: My Mother’s in Town– For a Week!

I told my step-father that a week was too long for anyone to visit, even my celebrity heartthrob crush Javier Bardem.   “Nothing personal,” I said. “How about she comes for three or four days? That way, we can end on a high note!”   “Too late,” George said. He’d already […]
May 11, 2015

Reality Check: Mother’s Day

Is it possible that I am really the only mother out there who experienced more family stress over Mother’s Day than it was worth?   After it was over, I checked in on Facebook, only to see dozens of posts with happy, smiling families bearing flowers at big family dinners with the mothers wearing […]
April 15, 2015

Welcome to My Blog

Hi. I’m Laura. I’ve been a crime reporter at the New York Daily News; a private investigator (that was a cool job); a features editor at Woman’s World Magazine where I interviewed more than 50,000 women; and a press secretary for an elected official in a city of 198,000.   Life was going along […]
April 14, 2015

My Daughter, the Fire Hazard

My daughter is a lot of things, but never has anyone called her a “fire hazard.”   “You gotta be kidding me!” I exclaimed to the school nurse’s office on the phone today. “A fire hazard? Really?”   I admittedly shouldn’t have rudely followed up with, “Should I send her […]
February 8, 2015

The Vole in the Bowl

I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a scream quite like it.   It was a mix of giggling, shrieking and yelping for help that sounded kinda like this: “Eeeyyaaauuugghhhheewlp!”   There stood my 15-year-old on the orange leather dining chair, far from the kitchen where she kept pointing with trembling index finger. It […]