Mother of two teenage girls for sale. 51,000 miles. Runs like new! Available seven days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. No sick or personal days. Fifty cents an hour.
-Where are you going?
–Who are you going with?
– Are the parent(s) home?
Bonus: Asks what time you will be home.
-No driving with pimply faced teenagers. That’s what cabs are for.
-All skirts and shorts must pass the cheek test or you are not allowed out of the house. No ifs, ands or butts about it!
-Dinner must be eaten at the table with your family present, not in your room while on Facetime with friends.
-If you don’t stop rocking in that chair, you are going to break its leg off.
-When you wash colors with whites, you end up with pink socks.
-If you don’t take the dog out first thing in the morning, he will pee on the floor.
Other expressions that are discouraged from use as being part of the English language, especially after being told this week that the Shakespeare play was “boring.”
Bounce – Means to leave.
Chillaxin – Cross between chillin’ and relaxing.
Crashy – Crazy and trashy. Not considered to be good.
Crunk – Cross between crazy and drunk. Some teens use this term to mean cool.
Dope – Means cool or awesome.
Fly – Boys tend to refer to girls they think are good looking as ‘fly’.
Hater or h8er – This is in reference to someone who just hates everything, even their friends. It is someone who is so pessimistic that your teen is tired of hearing from them.
Hardcore – Means something is intense. Generally said about something that is a good experience, but also used when something bad is happening to a friend.
Sick or Ill – No, this no longer means someone doesn’t feel well. It’s used as a description of something or someone who is cool or awesome.
Tight – Means close in relationship.
Tool – Refers to someone who is stupid or a geek.
Wanksta – Refers to a person trying to act tough, but isn’t really pulling it off.
– Dear God, Please give me the strength to get through another day without braining my eyeball rolling teenagers. Love, Laura